


Anchor

by lionessvalenti



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Captain America: The First Avenger, First Time, Kissing, M/M, Missing Scene, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Quickies, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:01:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14365560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: Technically, Bucky and Steve have had three first times.





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Highsmith (quimtessence)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quimtessence/gifts).



> Thank you, thinkatory, for beta reading!

**1938**

Summer had come early to Brooklyn. It was barely the first week of May and the mercury hadn't gone below ninety in days. Bucky was stretched out on the floor of Steve's bedroom, resting his weight on one elbow, dressed in his work pants and undershirt. It was cooler on the floor.

"Are you done yet?"

Steve looked at him from over the top of his sketchpad. It was a large pad, but in Steve's hands, it looked huge. "I'll tell you when I'm done."

Bucky grabbed his sweating water glass and took a sip. The ice had melted, but the water was still cool. He could feel it going all the way down his throat. "I'm going to make you pay for making me sit still this long."

"Is that so," Steve murmured, sounding hardly threatened.

"Yeah," Bucky said, but his heart wasn't really into the teasing. He knew this portrait was important to Steve, a project for school. Bucky had the feeling Steve wasn't going to be able to keep up art school for much longer. There were little things Steve had said here and there. Money, mostly.

School was important to Steve. And if it was important to Steve, it was important to Bucky.

Bucky had almost dozed off when Steve declared, "All right, I'm done."

"Can I see it?" Bucky sat up and stretched, the joints in his shoulders and neck cracking after an hour of not moving. He was already scooting across the floor to join Steve by the bed.

Steve hesitated. "Don't laugh."

"I won't."

"I'm serious."

"I _won't_." Bucky reached up and tucked his fingers around the top of the pad, tugging slightly as Steve released it. Bucky didn't laugh. In fact, he didn't have any words at all.

What Steve had drawn was striking. Steve had captured him mid-laugh, his smile wide and open as he looked upward, a lock of hair out of place, falling across his forehead. Bucky knew it was a drawing of him, but there was something there, a spark, a light that he didn't see when he looked in the mirror. It was almost like looking at a stranger.

"Is that what I look like?" Bucky asked, half in wonderment.

"You know what you look like," Steve said. His cheeks had gone a little pink, but that was normal when the temperature got too high. Summer was better for him than winter, the humid air easier on his weak lungs, but he could get easily overheated.

Bucky shook his head as he looked down at the drawing again. "This makes me look beautiful." He lifted his chin and caught Steve's expression: his eyes had gone wide, like he'd been caught.

"You are," Steve said, no shame in his voice, only quiet confidence. "Beautiful."

Maybe it was the heat, but Bucky felt like the one who had been seen. It was as if Steve had stolen a glance at the years of Bucky's desire and guilt, practically a lifetime's worth of being in love with Steve Rogers. He saw Steve for who he was. Now, seeing the way Steve saw him, it was like the dam had broken. 

He leaned in close and pressed his mouth to Steve's. There was a moment of hesitation, a moment of panic for Bucky, before Steve kissed him back. In relief, Bucky wrapped a hand around the back of Steve's neck, kissing him more desperately. 

Bucky had thought about doing this a hundred times. He'd had girlfriends, but no one was as consistent in his life as Steve. There was no one Bucky loved like he loved Steve.

Steve pulled back so he could set his sketchpad aside. He peered up at Bucky, maybe sizing him up for regret, then tentatively leaned forward to kiss him again. Bucky pushed his hand through Steve's hair, drawing a deep moan from Steve, and grabbed for his tee shirt. He pulled the shirt over Steve's head and tossed it away.

Bucky shifted his weight so he could straddle Steve and hold him against the bed. He pressed his mouth to the side of Steve's neck, tasting the salty flavor of his sweat, and the arousal built in Bucky's midsection. He ran his hand down the front of Steve's thin chest, thumbing a nipple into hardness. Steve's breath hitched violently, and for a split second, Bucky was afraid he'd triggered Steve's asthma, but the little sound that followed, an aroused noise of satisfaction, relaxed him.

Steve's hand moved between Bucky's legs, and he palmed Bucky's cock through the thick fabric of his work pants. Bucky sucked a gasp between his teeth and leaned into the contact. He began tugging at his belt, and when Steve realized what he was doing, there were two more hands pulling open Bucky's pants.

It was Bucky's turn to moan as Steve took ahold of him. He seemed so confident, stroking Bucky with one hand and holding him at the waist with the other. Had he done this before? A flare of hot jealousy spiked through Bucky at the thought of Steve jerking off some stranger. If he wanted that -- needed that -- he would have come to Bucky first, right? Was he ashamed? He had to have to known that Bucky would have given him everything and more.

Bucky grabbed Steve by the back of the neck again, maybe a little rougher than he intended, but Steve just laughed softly in Bucky's ear.

"I've wanted this--" Bucky said, his breath catching in his throat before he could finish his sentence, as Steve's thumb worked over the tip of his cock. Instead of trying to speak again, Bucky buried his face in the crook of Steve's neck, groaning as he came. After a few seconds he leaned back and gazed at Steve, who looked flushed and sheepish. The front of him, down his stomach and across the front of his pants, was spattered in Bucky's come.

"Let me," Bucky said breathlessly, reaching to wipe his mess away from Steve's skin, but Steve shook his head.

"Leave it."

Bucky swallowed loudly. He rested his hand on the inside of Steve's thigh. "Then can I--?"

Steve shook his head again. "No, Buck, I..." He dropped his head, his already pink cheeks darkening further. "I'd rather you didn't."

Bucky cupped Steve's face in his hands and kissed his forehead. "Can I stay?"

Lifted his head, Steve took a long look at Bucky's face and then nodded.

They untangled themselves from each other long enough to climb into the bed together and tangle themselves up again. Steve, naked from the waist up, and Bucky, with his pants still open and his dick hanging freely from them, curled up on the bed, Steve's back flush to Bucky's chest. He felt so small like this, tucked against Bucky, and sheltered from the outside world.

Bucky wrapped his arm protectively around Steve, holding his hand over Steve's heart as Steve's hand slid down the front of his own pants. Bucky could feel the rhythm of Steve jerking himself off, the short strokes and hastened moans. Bucky kissed the back of his neck to encourage him, and for a moment, Steve went completely rigid for a couple of seconds, and then relaxed. He pulled his hand out of his pants and brought it up to cover Bucky's hand. It was warm.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, Bucky just appreciating the rise and fall of Steve's chest beneath his hand, as the sun began to set and the room grew darker.

"I've got to go to work," Bucky mumbled, suddenly hating his night shift at the factory. "Are you going to be okay here?"

Steve nodded. "I'm always okay."

Bucky kissed Steve's neck one last time before reluctantly pulling himself from the bed. He hitched up his pants and got his belt buckled again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Steve echoed sounding tired.

As Bucky put on his shoes, he had the very basic understanding that he and Steve weren't going to talk about what happened. He knew it wasn't going to happen again.

 

**1943**

Bucky stepped hesitantly through the open flap of Steve's tent. Of course Captain America had a private tent. It was small, just a single cot and a small desk with a lamp on it, but he was alone. 

Steve was sitting on the cot, a book in his hand, but the movement of Bucky's entrance caught his attention. He snapped the book shut and was on his feet. "Are you good?"

"Cleared and ready for duty, Captain," Bucky replied with a grin. He closed the flap behind him, secluding himself and Steve from the rest of the camp.

Steve grinned too. He clapped a hand on Bucky's shoulder and pulled him in a step, like he might go in for a hug, but didn't. "I'm glad to hear it. God, it's good to see you, Buck."

Bucky could have pointed out that they'd seen each other for days on the march back to Italy, but he knew what Steve meant. It was different, alone in quiet quarters. "It's... I'm still not used to all of this." He waved a hand in the direction of Steve's chest. "Looking up at you, that's new."

"You don't like it," Steve said flatly, a statement, not a question.

"I didn't say that." Bucky really didn't know how he felt about the changes. He felt small next to Steve, like he was completely different person. However, he also knew that Steve, the heart of him, all those shared memories, that hadn't changed at all. "Let me get a look at you. Take that off." He'd said it without thinking, and Steve only hesitated a second before pulling his shirt up over his head and tossing it on the cot.

"It's different, right?" Steve asked with an embarrassed grin.

Letting out a low whistle, Bucky took in the new expanses of Steve's body. He placed his hand on Steve's chest. It wasn't that long ago hand could cover almost the entire thing, but now he could barely hold one sculpted pectoral in his palm. "When I realized you were gonna jump, I was terrified. I didn't realize what this body could do."

Steve swallowed. "I can do a lot of things I couldn't do before."

Bucky dragged a finger over one of Steve's nipples. It was already hard, and this close, he could feel Steve shudder. "Do you remember the time we--"

"Yes," Steve said and swooped down to kiss Bucky on the mouth. 

Bucky moaned, grabbing Steve around one firm bicep. He moaned again, louder this time, as Steve pushed him up against the desk. Pain bloomed at the back of Bucky's thighs for a moment, before receding just as quickly.

"Someone is going to hear you," Steve mumbled, pulling at the buttons of Bucky's shirt. One of them ripped off from the thread.

In that moment, Bucky didn't care, though of course he cared. He jutted his hips forward and pushed off from the desk to spin Steve around. Steve grunted as he hit the desk, and instead of teasing him to be quiet, Bucky kissed him again.

His hand slid down the length of Steve's arm and came to rest at his belt. Bucky broke off the kiss but stayed close. "You didn't want me to -- last time, I mean."

Steve bit his swollen lower lip. "I was small and you were so -- I was embarrassed."

"Are you embarrassed now?"

Though the flush of his cheeks may have suggested otherwise, Steve shook his head.

"Good." Bucky wrapped a hand around the back of Steve's neck and kissed him again, and began unbuckling Steve's belt with his other.

"You've done this before," Steve said, his voice thick with emotion. Was it jealousy? Did he hate the thought of Bucky with other guys as much as Bucky had hated the thought of Steve with them?

"Gotta find company where you can," Bucky muttered, and then dropped to his knees. He used both hands to finish opening Steve's pants, unable to wait any longer. He yanked Steve's pants down around his thighs and didn't waste any time, taking Steve's cock immediately in his mouth.

Steve jerked slightly, and then pushed his hand through Bucky's hair, his palm coming to rest at the back of Bucky's head. 

Bucky explored the length of Steve's dick with his mouth, taking in as much of it as he could, feeling every vein and curve with his tongue. He wrapped his lips around the tip of Steve's cock, massaging it with his tongue, listening for the soft moans of pleasure Steve exhaled. He brought his hand up to run his fingertips across the underside of Steve's balls, teasing him gently.

Steve's fingers tightened in Bucky's hair. " _Buck_..."

Bucky groaned. His own cock throbbed, painful and ignored. He sat back, letting Steve's dick fall from his lips. Steve made a little dissatisfied noise as he released his grip from Bucky's hair. Bucky wrapped his hand around Steve's dick, wet and velvety soft under his fingers and looked up as he began to stroke it.

"Look at me," Bucky said hoarsely.

Licking his lips, Steve dropped his gaze, and their eyes met. Bucky knew how he had to look, red, swollen lips and desperately aroused. Steve grinned, and the grin turned into a grimace as he came. Hot come spurted down the side of Bucky's face, dripping down his neck.

"Oh," Bucky gasped softly. It was like receiving a gift, an intimacy he couldn't have understood before.

Steve placed his hand on Bucky's cheek, and Bucky, maintaining the eye contact as well as he could, turned his head and licked the come from Steve's hand. It was salty and mild, and the more Steve dragged his fingers through it, the more Bucky cleaned it away. Slowly, Steve pulled his hand away, and pushed Bucky back away from the desk. He got down on the ground in front of Bucky, his jaw determinedly set in a way that hadn't changed from the last time Bucky had seen him in Brooklyn.

"Lay back," Steve said, and sounded so aroused, it was like he hadn't just come. Bucky glanced down and saw that Steve's cock had barely flagged. Whatever they did to him, it was still working.

Bucky did as he was told, stretching out on the ground, feeling small as Steve lay next to him. His hand slid down the front of of Bucky's pants and began jerking him. Bucky grabbed onto Steve's arm as after only -- two, three, four -- strokes, he came. Bucky bit his lip so hard he tasted blood.

"That wasn't how I wanted that to go," Bucky said, closing his eyes. Steve was still touching him, still rubbing his thumb over the sensitive head of Bucky's cock. It sent shivers throughout Bucky's body. "You're too good for me."

"That's about the stupidest thing you've ever said, and I know you've said a lot of stupid things," Steve said fondly. He pressed a kiss to Bucky's forehead, and then curled up around him. Bucky felt small and safe, wrapped up in Steve's arms like this. He could feel Steve's erection against his thigh, but Steve didn't mention it.

"I always wanted you, you know," Bucky said quietly. It seemed easier to say it in the dim light of the tent than it would have been to Steve's face.

"I know."

"This body, it's, it's nice, but it's always been about you."

Steve gently kissed Bucky's temple. "Buck, you know..."

"I know," Bucky said. He didn't need to say it, and Bucky didn't even want to hear him say it. He knew it couldn't happen again. And maybe Steve didn't even want it to happen again, Bucky thought, thinking back to the pretty English woman who had greeted Steve so intensely when they arrived at camp.

But Bucky wasn't going to think about that now. Steve saved his life, and Steve was still touching him, and for that moment, Bucky didn't need anything else.

 

**2016**

"So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under's the best thing. For everybody." Bucky glanced at Steve's face, the resigned acceptance. It stirred something in Bucky that he vaguely remembered feeling before. "It'll be okay."

"I know it will," Steve said, trying for a smile. He reached out and wrapped his hand around Bucky's bicep. "They're good. They'll get this taken care of before you know it."

Bucky's breathing hitched at the contact. It felt so familiar. He wanted to ask what was possibly a stupid question, and while it might not have been the time, but who knew when he'd have the chance again. "I've got a lot on my mind, and what I want to know is, did you, I mean, did we -- have I ever kissed you?"

Steve's look of concern brightened to a real smile. He laughed, his hand coming up to cup Bucky's face. "You have. More than once, but not nearly enough."

Bucky leaned into Steve's touch. "I thought so. It felt like it. I felt like I wanted to, and I couldn't tell if that was real or not."

"It was real. Every time we did, it felt like the last time," Steve said slowly, his thumb carressing Bucky's cheek. "We had something to hide. It's different now, out there."

Swallowing, Bucky tilted his chin upwards, and Steven leaned in closer, until their mouths met. Steve's mouth was hot and sure, and it was the first thing Bucky had felt in a long time that felt right. Even if everything else came back in flashes, in little bits and pieces like his mind had been through a shredder, Bucky knew that kissing Steve felt like home. He didn't even know he had a home, and here it was.

"I wish there weren't all these windows," Bucky said breathlessly as he pulled back. He grasped the front of Steve's jacket in his hand. "I don't think I should go under like this."

Steve gave him a puzzled look until he glanced down at the burgeoning erection tenting Bucky's thin cotton pants. He smiled. "Can I help?"

Bucky looked around, and none of the staff was nearby. "Yeah. Please do."

Steve turned his body so it was blocking Bucky's lower half from most of the room, and palmed Bucky's cock through his pants. "Is this okay?"

It was more than okay. The warmth of Steve's hand worked right through the fabric, and it was like he knew just the way to touch Bucky. Maybe he did. "Uh huh," Bucky managed, pulling tighter at Steve's jacket. "I think -- I think we need some more privacy."

"I think you're right." Steve dropped his hand from between Bucky's legs and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'll be right back."

Bucky was a little dizzy. He couldn't remember the last time he had the wherewithal to even _be_ aroused. There were so many things that were still coming back to him, and now that he was here, it felt like this should have been the first one. He should have looked at Steve and known.

A minute later, Steve came back in, shucking his jacket. "We've got ten minutes." He quickly closed the gap between them and pushed his hands through Bucky's hair. "You're going to have to tell me what you want. I don't want to push you just because of what I want."

"Do you want to fuck me?" Bucky asked. If it was too forward, he didn't care. He was already pulling at Steve's belt. "Because that's what I want."

Steve's eyes went wide. "I can do that," he said. He pulled Bucky down from the table and spun him around. Bucky could hear his breathing, steady, deep breaths, as Steve ran his hand up Bucky's back, and down again.

Bucky braced himself against the table with his hand and twisted halfway around. "We've done this before, right?"

"This, exactly?" Steve pulled Bucky's pants down around his thighs. "No."

"So, it's our first time."

Steve grinned and kissed the nearest bit of bare skin to him, which happened to be the back of Bucky's shoulder. "I guess it is." He lowered himself to the floor and Bucky had a split second of wondered what Steve was doing back there, when he felt the wet warmth of Steve's tongue against his hole.

"I don't think we did this either," Bucky muttered. He was about as sanitized as he'd probably ever been, so he let go of his concerns and allowed the sensation of Steve's work wash over him. Steve lapped at him, running his tongue in circles: clockwise, then counterclockwise, then teasing by pushing his tongue in just a little, and pulling it back out. Bucky was sure he'd never been so exposed and vulnerable. "Where'd you learn to do this?"

Steve pulled away, with a flourish of his tongue. "The internet is very informative," he said, and went back in, this time, wrapping his hand around Bucky's cock and stroking him slowly.

"We don't have much more time," Bucky said, burying his face in the sanitary paper that covered the table. "Come on, Steve."

"Nothing's really changed," Steve said fondly as he stood. He pressed his lips to the back of Bucky's neck as he pushed into him. Bucky made a noise he wasn't even sure he could name or ever replicate. "You're still impatient."

"We have seven minutes," Bucky replied, half groaning. Steve filled him deeply, and still Bucky felt himself pushing back to get more. Steve's arm wrapped around Bucky's waist, so they were pulled flush together. Steve no longer seemed small or large, but he was strong. He was an anchor Bucky could attach himself to when he felt himself begin to drift away.

"I missed you so much," Steve mumbled, as he rocked slowly out of Bucky, and then back in. His hand grasped the metal plate of Bucky's shoulder. "I'm going to miss you again." He pulled back a little, and began thrusting harder.

Bucky could barely breathe. Every motion Steve made, from the way he fucked, to his mouth on Bucky's skin, he caused pleasure. Bucky gripped the table, half certain he would break it, and completely sure he didn't give a shit if he did. He panted, unable to catch his breath, until he held his breath altogether as he came. It was a rush that took every part of his body and set it alight.

Moments later, Steve squeezed him, and Bucky felt the hot rush of Steve's come filling him. A gift, he thought absently, still working through the comedown of his own orgasm.

Steve slumped against him and they caught their breath together, and reluctantly, Steve pulled out. He rested his hand at the small of Bucky's back. "We should get you cleaned up."

"No," Bucky said sharply. He turned around, yanking his pants up as he did. "Leave it."

Steve blinked, surprised, and then he smiled, pleased. He wrapped his hand around the back of Bucky's neck and kissed him. "I'll be waiting for you, Buck."

Bucky placed his hand at Steve's cheek and kissed him again. He wasn't quite ready to let him go. So many things were still so far away, so out of reach, but this felt solid. This was real. This wasn't going to be the last time.


End file.
